I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
