the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
