soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
