I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
