I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
