We won't sleep together?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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