Walk of Shame. In a state park.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
