She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We need to get me chipped asap
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
