i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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