Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize