Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
