its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
