You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My vagina just clenched in fear
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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