Already got asked if we're dating
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
