IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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