Kiss
Puke
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Vodka?
Forever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
