Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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