Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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