Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize