you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
