I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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