have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
