turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
