Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
