apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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