Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
