Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
