Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
they're like a gay fantastic four
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
