Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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