I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
