Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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