This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize