is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
