so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No...this little piggys going to the bar
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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