White coat. Heels.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
