Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
