It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
