Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
