bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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