BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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