my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize