Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize