Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
