Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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