i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
