Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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