Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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