I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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