i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You pole danced in your parka.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize