I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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