its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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