I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
