I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
