Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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