I will die if light touches me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
