she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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