In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
