But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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