I'm gonna have a badass scar
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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