so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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