Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize