i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
