So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
