R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize