dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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