How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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