I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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