I wannas sexs uuuuu
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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