Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
