I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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