Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
