they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
