I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
