I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
