JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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