Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
