1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she told me i tasted like america
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
