so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
