It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
