doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In America we eat man semen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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